New Poll

Thanks for your input!  It's interesting to me how many people had the same ideas.  I have added a poll on the side bar where you can vote for your favorite brand name for the yogurt tubes.  I hate calling them yogurt tubes since they can be used for WAY more than yogurt, but that's what I've been calling them, so that's what they're known as for now. 

Next step, vote for your favorite!  If you don't like any of them, don't vote or tell me so in a comment.  Or if a new name comes to mind, please let me know and I'll add it!  I'm not completely in love with any of the names on the list, so I'm still up for more suggestions.

Think Tank

As part of Braden's ice breaker activities in Accounting Club each week, he wants to start things off (before the movie quote) with a joke.  No one laughs at jokes anymore.  Do you have a really good joke, not just ah.  Ha, ha, ha joke, but a HAHAHAHAHA!! joke?

Peanut Gallery

Braden is the President of the Accounting Club.  Each week, the members of the club meet and hear a presentation by an accounting firm, company, CPA, etc.  Being that accountants by nature are a bit dry, you can imagine how exciting these meetings can be.  He wants to start opening the meeting with a movie quote challenge.  Whoever can correctly identify the source of the weekly movie quote wins a candy bar.  Fun.  But we need good movie quotes.  Not the obscure ones that no one would really know.  Like "If we need anything, we'll call" from Pride and Prejudice.  Seriously, no one knows that quote because it is not quoteable.  We're looking for the winners, like "Now that's a real shame when folks'll be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that."  But we doubt the "kids" in his college have seen "Better Off Dead".  We have to keep remembering that they are between 18-22 years old and saw different movies than we grew up with.  So, we're stumped. 

Any favorite, timeless, quality, funny, memorable (not necessarily all of the above) movie quotes he could use?

If you have one, please leave it in the comments with the source. 

Thanks!

Consumer Panel

Hello everyone!  I am in need of some brainstorming.  Or suggestions.  Or submissions.  On a few topics.  So, over the next couple days, I'm going to post about what I need help with and if you have something to contribute, please do!

To start things off, as many of you know, I make and sell these fantastic refillable yogut tubes.  I've revamped the design and how I make them, which now makes them great for not only yogurt, but also juice, smoothies, pudding, and applesauce.  I love that! 

But when I list them, they are called Reusable, Refillable Yogurt Squeeze Tubes.  Seriously?  Lame name.  I need a brand name.  Something these can be marketed as, known by, called.  You know. 

Any ideas?

Mazie...Weeks 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8...the joys of being the fourth

Remember the days when I took pictures of my babies, shared them with friends and family, and wrote down all the wonderful things that were happening in our lives? Me neither. It seems so long ago.

With Mazie, I'm lucky to actually take pictures, let alone post them. But I'm determined to make sure none of my children end up with no baby pictures of themselves, like I did. Maybe by the time I have my 7th, I'll give up on the picture taking like my mom did, but I'll do my darndest to avoid it!

It's been 6 weeks since I gave up dairy and Mazie started doing SO well. But then I bought the wrong butter and we started seeing the "old" Mazie returning. Then Braden accidentally put the wrong milk in our breakfast one morning and we've been battling getting Mazie feeling good for the past 10 days. She's doing much better.

The comfortable Mazie is happy, content, peaceful, and SMILEY!  She started smiling mid December, right before our trip to Arizona. She only cries when she's hungry, dirty, tired, or gassy...or is being sat on, cuddled too much, or has a binkie being shoved in her mouth. Her sisters adore her!

She is growing SO fast! Remember how she gained a pound in a week? Well, now she weighs in at over 11 lbs and actually has rolls. Our first baby with rolls!

I'm exhausted. The holidays sure took their toll and we suddenly went from 8 hours of sleep (interrupted, of course), to 6 1/2 because Keara went back to school. I was so tired the other day driving her to school that on the way back, I pulled into the rest stop and took a 20 minute nap! Man, I was out cold.

Other than that, things are beautiful.  Braden and I decided to start sleep training the other night so we could start moving toward full nights of sleep again.  Two nights before we started, Mazie went 7 1/2 hours between feedings!  Unfortunately, that was from 7 pm  to 2:30 am, so it still interrupted my sleep, but I was proud of her!  The next night, though, she was up every 3 hours.  The night we started sleep training, she went eight hours all by herself between feedings, waking up at 4:45.  It was SO nice to get 5 straight hours of sleep!  Thank you Mazie!  Hopefully she'll go longer and longer between eating so I can move to getting a full 8 hours of sleep (as long as I go to bed by 10:30). 

We're getting back into the groove of school and routines, we started a membership at the YMCA so Taryn and Avery are in classes, Taryn will be starting karate soon, story time at the library starts next week, and I'm determined to get back into shape. If only I had some semblance of an abdominal core to start with...

Now onto the pictures! 

4 weeks

6 weeks

6 1/2 weeks

Christmas Morning

8 1/2 weeks

The Big 3-0

Braden's birthday is next week.  And he's turning thirty.  Really?  Man, I'm glad I'm still so young :)  At least I have a whole year before I have to face that scary reality.  Until then, we're going to celebrate Braden's birthday.  Unfortunately, we moved to a new city and don't really have any kindred spirit friends here (yet).  So his birthday celebrations will only include his biggest fans...all 5 of the women in his life. 

So I thought that maybe we could shower him with love and happiness from all the dear friends he's had over the past 30 years, from Molly all the way up to his newest friends. 

If you have something to share, could you send me a letter, note, memory, story, funny experience, etc. for Braden?  Since I want it to be a surprise, sending it to my email would kind of ruin the whole thing.  So if you could send it to bloggingwithkerri@gmail.com (my sister's email), she can forward them to me in a format that Braden will not read.  Probably an email entitled "That time of the month" or something like that that he will NOT want to read. 

His birthday is on Wednesday the 11th, so if you could get it to me sooner rather than later, that would be great.  If you miss it completely, I'm sure he'd still love to hear from you even if your contribution comes in June.

Thanks!

Taryn's Birthday--A Little Late

It seems I never blog about Taryn's birthday near her birthday...probably because Christmas and all that comes with that happens right after.  Better late than never, right?

Can you believe Taryn turned 4 last month!?  Wow!  She had been SO excited about turning four for months and was SO excited that her birthday finally came!  We started the day with Number Four pancakes...a little tradition we have of making the pancakes in the shape of the age they are turning.  Braden had fun this year using a bottle with a spout to pour the pancakes which made for prettier fours and cool shapes. 

Because we were going to have her "party" when Grandma and Grandpa came, she chose to have push pops for dessert on her actual birthday, which she and her sisters loved.  We gave her a few presents...Tangled DVD, Disney Princess fruit snacks, and a Tangled nightgown I made.  This girl LOVES Tangled and was SO excited with her presents!

The S-Word

A few weeks ago, Keara was rhyming with "duck", going thru every letter of the alphabet: puck, muck, tuck, wuck.  Knowing what was coming, I calmly said, "Let's rhyme with a different sound."  When she asked why, I answered that there is an inappropriate word that rhymes with duck that doesn't bring the Spirit.  From the other room I hear Taryn pipe up with "Yeah, like the time I said the S-word in class!"

WHAT?!!  Excuse me?!  Since I had never heard this story, I asked for more information.  What class?  Class at church.  Hmm...I can just imagine how that scene must have played out. 

However, when I talked to her teacher at church the next Sunday, I discovered that, thankfully, Taryn's version of the S-word is "stupid."  Phew. 

Then, a week later or so, Keara came home from school telling me that Alexa had said the S-word at school.  It bothered Keara so much that she told the principal who told her to make sure she told her teacher on Monday.  I didn't want to draw too much attention to it, but it was so impactful to Keara that she brought it up several times throughout the day.  That night, as I laid down with her to talk about the day, she brought it up again.  So I thought we would work thru it and get over it together.  I asked, "What did the S-word rhyme with?" 

Pause...think...pause..."Fupid!"

I tried very hard to not laugh, but it was hard not to!  Anyone seen "A Christmas Story" when Ralphie's friend gets wallopped because Ralphie tells his mom that he heard that naughty word from his friend, Schwartz?  Yeah, I sure hope Alexa didn't get her hookie whipped for saying the "S-word"!

I'm grateful for the innocence of these girls.  I don't look forward to the day when the real s-word enters their tender ears...

Our Girls Actually Took Pictures with Santa!

We have tried for 6 years to get our girls to take pictures with Santa.  Every year, we stand in line because they are SO excited.  And every year, when it is our turn to sit on his knee, they chicken out and refuse to go near him.  We've tried and tried, and never gotten a good picture. 

Last night, I took Avery to Sam's Club to pick up a couple things and they were doing free pictures with Santa.  She said she wanted to do it, so we went over and, though she was a little hesitant, she did it!  And she LOVED seeing her picture at the end!

When we got home and showed her big sisters her picture, they just about did back flips about the opportunity to have THEIR picture taken with Santa.  All morning, Keara kept asking when we would be going.  Finally, it was time.

We went, we stood in line, they talked to him, they took pictures with him, they smiled, they were happy, and they LOVED their pictures.  He was by far the BEST Santa I have ever seen.  Not only was his beard gorgeous, he also took at least 5 minutes with our family (I felt bad for everyone else in line) and talked to each of the girls like he knew them well.  He talked about the baby shoes Keara used to wear when she was Mazie's age, told them about things their Grandma used to do as a girl when she sat on his lap (apparently she pinched him and thought it was SO funny!) and answered their questions, like where he parked his sleigh (by the river so the reindeer could get a drink when they wanted).  He was fantastic!

And I love the pictures.  The deal was your first 4x6 was free, but I guess they loved the picture of Mazie looking at Santa too much to pass up.  Me too. 

This definitely started the magic of Christmas for our girls!

Time Passes Too Quickly: Mazie at Two AND Three Weeks Old

Avery loves Mazie!

Mazie in her blessing dress.  I need to get some better pics taken because my camera is lousy.

In a pot.  She was supposed to be 9 days old, but I didn't get around to taking the picture until she was 21 days old.  Oops.  Still, it's supposed to show perspective.  I think my angle was off...

The transition to 4 has been the easiest so far...and also the hardest.  Because of my easy delivery, recovery was almost nonexistent.  I had some pains (symphysis pubis dysplasia, a pinched nerve, and a hemorrhoid) but they resolved within a week and a half of her birth.  Because of my tremendous milk supply and an electric pump, I was able to store almost 200 oz of milk in the first 2 weeks ON TOP of feeding Mazie.  I felt like "that ol' heifer out there" (quoting my grandfather).  Anyway, besides all that, it didn't feel like I actually had a baby.

But Mazie has shown some of the classic dairy sensitivity symptoms, leading me to go to a dairy free diet...again.  And it has helped SO much.  (For those of you who are about to ask "What symptoms?", she was very fussy most of the time, struggled to get burps out, had explosive poops, some green stool, full body contortions as she tried to get the bubbles out, high pitched squeal-like screams after eating, stopping in the middle of nursing crying, discomfort lying down, and the tell-tale sign--a rash that appeared all over her body at 11 days old.) 

After going off dairy, it takes about 1-3 weeks before the dairy has cleared both our systems.  We're at 13 days and things are so much better.  We've had 3 evenings where she hasn't screamed for 2 hours, fighting against the bubbles, 3 days of a very pleasant, very calm baby.  It has been SO nice!  However, it does make all 200 oz. of that milk in my freezer unusable for this baby.  I'm looking into donation.

Despite her struggles with dairy, she has gained weight like no other!  Leaving the hospital, she was 6 lbs 13 oz.  At her 2 week appointment, she was 7 lbs. 12 oz.  Amazing for our kids!  Today, she was weighed at another appointment and was 8 lbs. 12 oz.  Really?!  A pound in just 9 days?  I honestly think the scale must have been broken...

She is beautiful, delightful, and continues to be a source of entertainment for all the girls.  Keara is a lifesaver most of the time when I need to make dinner, help another little girl, or do anything else I may need to do.  She can watch Mazie and I don't have to worry.  Or, like the other day when I was exhausted beyond comprehension, I laid down with Mazie and Keara babysat her sisters.  I got a full hour of sleep without an interruption from any of the three older girls.  Wonderful!

The reason the transition to 4 has been hardest is because I feel like I don't have time to get anything done.  Either I don't have time or I'm too tired.  I'm getting about 6 1/2 opportunity hours of sleep, with a half hour interruption in the middle to feed Mazie.  But I'm needing about 10 hours of straight sleep, not chunks of 3 and 4 here and there.  I find myself almost falling asleep going to and from Keara's school.  But I can't "sleep when the baby sleeps" because I'm either in the car, making dinner, or taking care of Taryn and Avery.

So I'm redefining my expectations.  Whereas normally I wouldn't turn on the TV during the week at all for the girls, they have watched two movies this week so I could lay down.  And I'm convincing myself that that is okay.  I would rather let them watch movies than me be so worn out that I can't be patient, kind, and respectful of my girls.  I've lost my patience more in the last week than in the last 6 months...so I guess movies are a better alternative.  If in a day I feed my kids, do the laundry, cooking, and cleaning, and maybe spent a little time with the girls, it's a good day, right?  I have to put everything else aside for now.  But that's hard with Christmas coming up and feeling like I have to finish the last details.

Oh well.  I'm doing my best.  If I weren't so tired, I think my best would be better.  But then I just keep reminding myself that I had a baby just 3 weeks ago and being tired is part of the territory.  And this little girl is so worth the exhaustion! 

Merry Christmas!  This display we created on our entertainment center makes me very happy!!

Little Miss Mazie--One Week Old

Mazie is doing so well and we adore her.  She loves to eat, sleep, and be held.  She's sleeping like a champ and also stays awake during the day really well.  I'm basically a milk cow, making more milk than I ever have before.  And she is loving that!  We're trying to figure out our routine again and we're doing relatively well.  However, my mom leaves tomorrow...and then reality will set in! 

Here are some pics from today. Gotta run to story time!

She's Here!! And What an Entrance!

Welcome to the world!

Introducing

Mazie Cheri Moore
Born 11/8/11
10:27 pm
7 lbs 1 oz
19 (or 21) inches

You want the details?  Be forewarned that these is a detailed account.  Not the reader's digest, G-rated account. As most of you know, we were hoping she would come a little earlier than she did. She was "due" on the 3rd, but I didn't expect to go over my due date. My sister had her baby on Saturday (due on Friday) and with my mom already here to help with the baby, I was sure hoping that she would arrive before my mom did. But it was not to be.

I had Braxton Hicks contractions for the last couple months, but they were here and there and not increasing as we approached my due date. At 39 weeks, I was 1 cm dilated, at 40 weeks, I was 3 cm, and at 40 and 5 days (Tuesday), I was 3 1/2, almost 4 cm. So at least I was progressing. My mom arrived on Saturday morning and that was the first morning I was feeling a little icky. I felt not quite myself all day and that night, I had a few good contractions and felt that general "blah" feeling. I hoped that maybe things were moving forward. But Sunday came with no change.

Sunday I felt even more blech and icky with more contractions, but they never went anywhere. My mom and I went on a brisk walk and I felt a lot of pressure and tightening, but that subsided by the end of the day. My doctor offered to induce on Monday but I just didn't feel like it was necessary (part of me hoping that meant she was going to just come on her own soon enough).

Monday, I went in for an AFI ultrasound to check the fluid levels since my doctor would be heading out of town the next day and wanted to make sure I didn't need intervention while he was gone. I felt even more icky that day with more contractions which never went anywhere.

When I woke up on Tuesday feeling even more icky, with a lot of back aches and pressure, I had a feeling that it was the day. I had my doctor's appointment at 9:15 in the morning and just felt really tight. He didn't seem too hopeful and scheduled me for an induction next week, as well as additional testing throughout the week while he was out of town.

I went home and got to work trying to finish some things that needed to get done, in case she decided to come that day. I had approached the last few weeks with the mentality that if I stayed really busy and active, not only would I get a lot done, but it could only help in bringing her. So my mom and I organized our laundry room, cleaned out the toy room, tidied the rest of the house, and made one awesome dinner of pasta carbonara.

I had contractions throughout the day, but they were sporatic and very mild, nothing out of the ordinary. But around 6, I could tell they were a little regular, so I timed a couple, just to see. They were coming about every 5 to 7 minutes apart, but they were very mild. Still, because I had been working so much during the day and my back was aching so much anyway, I decided to take a bath while the girls got ready for bed. It felt good and the contractions continued, but still, very manageable and mild. After my bath, Braden was home and we got the girls in bed. I decided that it would be a good idea to get some relaxation practice in during the easy contractions, in case they continued, so I sat on the exercise ball and chatted with Braden and my mom for a while.

Around 8, the contractions were now quite noticeable and were getting a little more intense, but still nothing to write home about. In fact, I thought about sending an email to family, letting them know that we were in labor, but I wasn't really confident still that it was labor, so I didn't send it until later. The contractions remained every 5-7 minutes apart, but I did need to do some deep breathing with them.

About 9 or 9:15, I now needed Braden's help to get thru them. I needed to really focus and really breath, as well as use the hot rice bags on my back and lower front. I have back labor with all my girls and I found with this little one that changing position, being on my hands and knees, standing, kneeling over a chair, etc. helped me manage the intensity. Each contraction lasted a full 2 minutes but were still 5 minutes apart. Then they started going every 2 minutes, then 4, then 3, then 1 1/2 (lasting only 30 seconds), etc. They were sporatic again, but getting much more intense. At 9:30 or so, Braden got the car loaded and ready to go, but I told him I didn't feel like it was necessary to leave yet. I didn't think we had made enough progress and I didn't feel overwhelmed yet. In between contractions, I still had energy, focus, and felt renewed. A little later, I asked him to give me a blessing, and shortly afterwards, I had a couple contractions that lasted 2 full minutes and only gave me 30 seconds break in between. They were so intense, I said, "Okay, it's time to go." We left for the hospital around 10.

Thankfully, we live only a few blocks from the hospital, so we parked around 10 too. We had to walk to the ER entrance and I had about 5 strong, intense contractions on the way there. One lasted so long Braden got really worried that we were going to have the baby out in the cold. No, she had other plans.

We got to the ER entrance and they had a metal detector we had to go thru. But there were 2 people ahead of us, and I kept having contractions, so we'd get out of line, someone else would come, we'd get out of line again, etc. Finally, the guy manning the metal detector went to get a wheelchair and let us go thru. I normally would have walked and not gotten a wheelchair, but I was fine with it. In hindsight, I'm really glad I was in one.

We went to admitting, where the admitting lady asked me how far apart the contractions were. I told her every 2 to 3 minutes and she looked at me like I was lying to her. She then asked Braden if I was feeling any pressure (while I was having a contraction), and he told her I was. She replied, "Well, she doesn't look like she's in that much pain." I wish she could have walked with us to Labor and Delivery...

I was wheeled upstairs, stopping every minute or two to breath thru a contraction, which were getting really, really intense and I knew this baby was moving. I could tell I was getting really close to needing to push. We got out of the elevator and the nurse started taking me to triage when another nurse stopped her and told her to just bring me to Labor and Delivery. As we were heading down the hallway, I asked her to stop so I could deal with this contraction, but she said, "Let's get you into your room and then you can breathe." I'm glad she did. That contraction ended up breaking my water and suddenly the baby was descending, crowning, and birthing, with my pants still on and me in the wheelchair. I gave the play by play, "She coming, she's here!" and they fought with my very uncooperative stretch pants. Finally, the nurse got them to a point where she exclaimed "There's the baby!" I don't think they really realized how serious I was. She was born at 10:27. Had I been walking instead of in the wheelchair, I think she would have been born downstairs in the hall, with the world to see.

They placed her on my belly and then we noticed the cord was wrapped around her neck twice. Since I was sitting, having her on my belly was actually pulling the cord tight, so she briefly turned blue as we tried to get it loose enough to unwind. She was perfect, beautiful, and, as Braden said, surprisingly clean. The doctor arrived shortly thereafter and the nurse announced that the baby was already here. I absolutely loved holding her for a few minutes before I needed to move to the bed and deliver the placenta.

I only tore a tiny bit that required one stitch. As the doctor approached me with the needle and thread, without giving me anything to numb it first, I said, "Um...???" And he told me that stitching would feel the same as if he gave me the shot, so he just wanted to stitch me instead. Okay! Why not!

It was so nice not having any IV, pokes or prods, and just letting my body work with this baby. It was exciting, fun, and in many ways, funny. In the 9 months leading up to this, whenever I thought about the birth, it always involved her coming in the kitchen, in the bathroom, on the highway, etc. but never with a doctor. I'm grateful for that preparation!

I'm also so grateful that Mazie came when she did. First, Braden was able to go thru all his Tuesday classes, as it is his fullest day, as well as get a lot of studying in for his test today. I didn't need him until after his last class was over and then she came early enough that we could get to bed and he could sleep enough to go take his test this morning. He's been at school all day studying for his test tomorrow and finishing up a portion of his test that he took on Monday that is due tomorrow. He stopped by for 30 minutes or so this afternoon, but had to head back. I'm sure he'll be relieved for tomorrow afternoon to come, with all tests done, no work, and no school on Friday. He deserves a break!

Second, I'm so grateful that my mom was here so she could stay with the girls. It was SO helpful to have someone around to take care of them while I took a bath, and then for us to be able to leave when we needed to, because I don't think I would have called help in time. The labor shifted so rapidly that I don't think anyone could have gotten there before she would have been born. I'm sure she would have been born at home if my mom weren't there.
Braden told me he feels like he isn't very helpful during my labor, but I just have to say that he is AMAZING! Oh my goodness, while my labors may be sudden and fast and a whirlwind, the only reason I make it thru them is because of his focused attention, support, and help in keeping me calm and focused. Generally, I count on him only during transition, which comes and ends so suddenly and intensely that his reminders to "relax and breathe" aren't really effective in getting me to relax and breathe, but I can't describe how helpful it is to hear those words anyway, to hold his hand, to have him rubbing my arms. He is amazing and I adore him and fall in love with him more every time we go thru this together. I am so grateful for him!

The girls are in love, each in their own way. Keara is currently here with me in the hospital, laying in bed with Mazie, pretending to be trying to go to sleep. She is in heaven. Taryn loves to hold her but also gets so distracted by everything around her that we have to be constantly monitoring how she is holding her so she doesn't strangle her or drop her. Avery adores her and loves to hold her, but easily moves on to other things. They are so fun to watch!

Well, Mazie is crying now, so I'm going to go help her. But thanks for your love, support, and well wishes! We're so glad she's here!!

I Hate Wait...

This baby is being very stubborn.  And really not cooperating with all my well laid plans.  I guess that teaches me one thing...don't plan anything. 

We're now into Braden's test week, which means we're walking thru a mine field, trying to miss when he's actually in a test while still allowing him ample time to study for his tests.  One down, two to go. 

My mom arrived on Saturday for 11 days.  But I wanted those 11 days to fall AFTER the baby arrived, not before.  So every day that passes is one more day lost of my mom's incredible help.  Still, she works like a mad woman and my house has never (and never will be again) been so clean.  I wish I had her stamina, energy, positive attitude, and work ethic.  She is amazing.  I love her!

My dad arrives on Thursday night and we're supposed to be having a big family dinner on Friday at my brother's.  But...at this point, it looks like that is going to be cancelled too, as well as blessing the baby on Sunday.

And finally, my doctor goes out of town in 3 hours.  So, there goes the hope of having my doctor deliver me. 

I've tried everything...fast walks, long walks, soaking in the tub, pineapple, spicy foods, bouncing on the exercise ball, anything I can do to help this baby decide to come, but she just doesn't feel like it.  I've had plenty of contractions and I'm progressing dilation-wise, but she is too comfy in there.  I'm heading out right now for my doctor's appointment and we'll see if one last ditch effort will intice her to arrive.  If not, we may be facing induction on Sunday, unless she gets her act together before then.

I'm heading out.  Let's see if this baby will too...

Bedtime Battle--Part II

Over a month ago, I posted about our bedtime headaches.  Since that time, I received advice from many of you, as well as a request to share what I learned to help those of you who related to our experiences.  Here is my report:
We started out trying all sorts of suggestions.  I really liked the suggestion of one reader to have them stand in the corner if they chose to not lay in their beds (yes, Molly, I'm about to butcher the lie/lay rule here).  That made sense to me.  This is time to lie in your bed.  If you don't feel like lying in your bed, you may stand in the corner. 

Unfortunately, the girls would seek opportunities to stand in the corner.  And they wouldn't stand.  I would have to stay up there with them enforcing the consequence.  For a couple hours.  So that one didn't work for us.  I still love the idea, for those it can work for.

Another night, I decided that if they didn't feel like staying in their beds, they would then have to do what mommy was doing.  It wasn't play time, it was work time.  So I put them to work.  I had them do all sorts of chores until I could literally not think of another chore to do.  I made it as un-fun as possible.  Unfortunately, they thought this was WONDERFUL and couldn't wait until the next night when they could work again.  So that didn't work so well either.

I talked to my sister, my mom, everyone to get a grasp on things and finally my mom suggested something she has suggested many times in the past.  Her advice was this: read the book Children: The Challenge by Rudolf Dreikurs.  I heard her suggesting this when I was growing up and I always took offense to it.  Maybe that's why I never took her up on her advice in the last couple years.  But growing up, I thought the book was called Children the Challenge, as in children were the challenge.  Now I understand it is Children: The Challenge, as in the challenges of raising children.  Symantics, but it made a difference in my approach.

Anyway, the book was written in the 1960s and is WAY outdated.  Almost every example has to do with a parent "thrashing" their child or "whipping" them.  Other examples are just too picture perfect and unrelateable.  But that doesn't change the correct principles that are taught in the book.  I was so frustrated for the first 60 pages because I kept thinking "YES!  I get that!" but I'd never get a suggestion about what to do about it.  However, once the practical applications started flowing, I was able to implement a lot of things and we saw almost immediate changes in our family.

A few of the principles I like the most (which, of course, I learned as a Child Development major in college...but are hard to remember in the thick of raising kids) are these:

1. A misbehaving child is a discouraged child
2. Don't give undue attention

3. Win cooperation--don't force it (this one is HARD)
4. Withdraw from the conflict
5. Never do for a child what she can do for herself


Basically, every child seeks attention thru various means.  When they are seeking attention inappropriately or at inappropriate times (like you're on the phone or in the middle of a meeting), they are seeking undue attention.  When we respond to their attempts, we reinforce the negative behavior by letting them know that they can indeed get our attention in that way, even if the attention they are receiving is negative (like yelling, getting angry, etc.).  They will seek any way to get and keep your attention focused on them.

So our attempt to have them stand in the corner was completely ineffective because it still got them exactly what they wanted: our presence and continued involvement. 

I could see that Keara was definitely a discouraged child.  She kept seeking attention by being afraid of school...until we stopped paying attention to her whines.  She was acting abominably at bedtime because she wanted mommy to stay longer.  She would throw fits whenever I was talking to anyone else or on the phone to get my attention.  It was frustrating because no amount of positive attention given to her would reduce her inappropriate attempts to get undue attention.  However, once we started not giving undue attention and withdrawing from her attempts, she stopped seeking attention thru those means.

AND, since that time, she has gone to bed well every single night AND has walked right into her classroom at school without clinging to my arm.  She needed to be redirected on how to seek and gain attention.  We have had better days as a family in the last couple weeks than we've ever had, as we've implemented some of these changes in how we interact with our children.  The peace and lack of frustration has been a welcome change.

As for Taryn, who is my busy body, she has also gone to bed well every night in the last couple weeks, though some nights she needs a little extra help.  Still, like tonight, we started bedtime at 6:45 (meaning, get jammies on, brush teeth, etc.) and I was out of their room at 7:15.  Amazing.

Oh, and our current nighttime routine is this.  The girls have the time that I am putting Avery down to put on their pajamas, brush their teeth, go potty, and look at books.  They need to do this quietly and calmly.  If they choose to cooperate, then we have enough time to do snuggle time.  One girl stays on the couch reading while the other comes to mommy's room for a couple books, prayers, talking, and snuggle time...about 10 minutes.  Then they switch.  Sometimes, one is calm and the other isn't.  If she chooses to not cooperate to make bedtime successful, that is her choice.  But I will not be able to snuggle with her. 

After snuggle time, we go upstairs and they get in their beds.  I kiss them goodnight and tell them I will be back in 5 minutes.  We were noticing that when we would finish bedtime right when we brought them upstairs, they would be back downstairs within 5 minutes.  So we flipped it.  They can lie quietly in their beds for 5 minutes and then I will come back up with their water and I will lay with them and scratch their backs for a couple minutes.  If they choose to get out of bed and play instead, I cannot lay with them because, afterall, they are not in their beds. 

One BIG component of this book is that you need to be firm.  It is SO easy to say "Oh, you got back in your bed, so I'll give you another chance."  But I really like how the book teaches that the child can try again the next night, not tonight.  They already made their choice for tonight.  If you continually say, okay, you did it, forget the result of your choices, then they will always be pushing to see how far they can go before cooperating. 

Anyway, since flipping the 5 minutes, they have not come downstairs to go to the bathroom, which they were doing every night.  They aren't calling us, and they are lying still.  Taryn is so still and so calm by the time we come back that she is practically asleep.  What an amazing change, when she was always so wired every single night. 

I don't know if this will help you, but if you find yourself at your wits end about anything behavior-wise with your kids, just give the book a shot.  Take it with a grain of salt, but remember that these are solid principles from the past...that haven't been tainted by the permissive, overprotective, over indulging parent patterns of today.  So, just try it, I guess. 

A Trip to the Orchard

This is a little late, but at the beginning of October, we were able to go to the cities to celebrate my nephew's 16th birthday.  He is the sweetest guy in the world and chose to go to an apple orchard for his birthday.  I wonder if that had anything to do with the fact that his three little cousins would LOVE the orchard.  That would be just like him.

It started with the haystacks...

Thanks Jonathan, Rachel, and Susan for hopping on board so the girls could go.  I don't think I could have fit...

 They have this BIG AWESOME slide that the girls went down over and over and over.  I love the expressions on their faces!

Taryn LOVES Nathan!

There was a band playing and Taryn jumped up on the table with these kids and started showing her moves.  She has no fear and loves to dance!

 Not exactly sure what Avery is doing right here, besides enjoying a delicious Honeycrisp apple

 Running thru the trees

Anyway, we had a GREAT day!  It was so fun!