I Do.

Wow, time flies.  I can't believe it's been almost 2 weeks since I wrote that post.  We're now into our third week of school and I have some advice in response to my last request for advice.

I realized, at the start of her second week of school, that Keara had switched from being truly nervous, to enjoying the attention she was receiving by not liking school, by clinging, and by crying.  She got sympathy from everyone...me, Braden, her teachers, her grandmas, everyone.  And we were talking about it with everyone, seeking advice. 

But when I stopped and paid attention to the whole picture, I realized that the sympathy and attention was actually perpetuating the problem.  So we flipped a switch and overnight, the problem changed.  That's not to say it went away, but immediately, we had less whining, less clinging, less crying.  She's gone 4 days of no tears at all and comes home much happier and excited about school.  The mornings aren't spent telling us that she doesn't want to go, but talking about what is going on that day.

What did we do?  We stopped paying attention to her complaints.  When she would say, "I don't want to go to school," we'd reply with "We understand.  Please get in the shower (or get dressed, or go to bed, or eat your breakfast, or whatever)."  We didn't dwell on the complaint.  And we explained to her teacher what we were doing and she jumped on board, not dwelling on Keara's crying, but moving on to the next thing. 

I didn't want Keara to think we didn't care, so we switched to focusing on the positive, like when she is happy, when she goes to school easily, when she has a great day.  Or simply on the great parts of school instead of the bad parts.  Once we took the wind out of her sails, per say, she started gliding and doing so much better. 

I'm grateful for inspiration and a Father in Heaven who not only loves me, but loves my daughter and inspires me and Braden on how to raise her best.  This advice has been extremely helpful.

Any Advice?

You already know how the first day of school went.  The second day started with "I don't want to go to school today."  But she survived, even though she cried again at the beginning.  But today started with "I dont' want to go to school today.  Please don't make me," and hiding in the corner, not helping get dressed, dragging her feet every step to the car. 

I asked her why, what was happening, and she told me she doesn't have anyone to sit with at lunch, how she's afraid of the whistle at recess and gym, how a couple boys have pushed her, how she's the only one who cries, how everyone else knows each other already and she feels new. 

I tried really hard to focus on the good parts of school, how Heavenly Father can help her, how she can reach out and be a friend, how she's not the only one who is afraid, how she can find a friend to sit with at lunch.  But nothing hleped.  When I took her to her classroom this morning, the tears came, she clung to me, and she begged me to take her back home. 

Even though I know exactly how she's feeling, I don't know how to help her thru this.  I know it takes time, that next week will be better, and then next week will be better than that, and so forth.  But what can I do to help her thru this every morning?  When she comes home from school, she loved it.  But in the morning, she's nervous, afraid, and doesn't want to go.

Have you had experience with this?  What have you done that has helped?  I really would appreciate any help you might have.

Too Busy to Update

Hello?  Is this thing on?  Is anyone still out there?  I'm sure you've all given up on me and my blog.  We're boring, I know.  It's not that we're boring and have nothing to write about, we're just too busy to write anything.  So here's the reader's digest update:

*Braden is looking to go back to school for a second Bachelor's degree, this time in accounting.  He applied to a university here in MN and was accepted.  As long as the classes can work out, he will begin classes there at the end of August and should be done with his degree within 18 months.
*Because this university is 1 1/2 hours away from where we currently live, that also means we'll be moving!  At this moment, I am organizing our yard sale which has been planned and scheduled for about 3 months, and conveniently will be perfect just in time to move.  After the yard sale, I will devote all my time to packing and getting ready to move.  We are excited for a new adventure.
*Keara will be starting kindergarten in the fall and a move means finding ANOTHER school to enroll her into.  But thankfully, the area we'll be moving to has a spanish immersion program!  Yeah!  I would have been VERY sad to give that up for her.
*Taryn is loving summer time and the lake.  If it were up to her, we'd be there every day.  Unfortunately, this summer has been "weird"...just like every where else in the country and just like every year is "unusal".  But there's been a lot of ups and downs in the temperatures as well as a lot of rain, so we haven't been to the lake as much as we'd like.  We went last night and today and we may go again tomorrow, but we'll have to see.  Taryn hates having her hair washed with shampoo, but after a while, she either smells like a dog or fish, so shampoo is very necessary, much to her chagrin.
*Avery is very nearly two, and you can tell.  She is the sweetest angel and is so delightful, but then all of the sudden she'll whack her sister in the head or pull their hair or, like last night during dinner, stab them in the head with her fork.  She's testing her limits, but thankfully, she's doing it with absolute cuteness, so we can't be too upset.  She doesn't throw fits or anything...yet.  She's just an angel baby, with a two-year-old mean streak.  This too shall pass, I'm sure.
*Baby Girl #4 is growing and moving around.  I'm 25 weeks along and I'm grateful I still have 15 weeks to go!  Sometimes I think I'd take another 25 weeks, knowing how much needs to get done between now and then.  But I'm sure that the time will fly by faster than I want it too.  I am a little (or a lot) sad about moving right before having a baby and not having all my dear friends around when she's born.  I appreciate all the support and help my friends give me.  I really do love all the people I've met here. 
*Next week, we're going to Nauvoo for my friend's wedding.  I am very excited to take the girls there, but particularly Keara.  It's been fun to talk about church history a little with her.  I'm also excited because my sister and brother's families will both be in Nauvoo that same weekend, by coincidence, so we'll have a little family reunion too. 
*After Nauvoo, I'm planning on taking the girls down to Chicago for one last visit before who knows when.  I just can't imagine that we'll really be going down there within the next 9-12 months, and perhaps 18 or more.  We'll see.  But I haven't been to Chicago in the summer for an extended period of time in over 8 years, so I'm looking forward to spending time at the lake and doing the summer things we used to do.  I'm especially looking forward to being at my parents' house.  I love it there...so edifying.
*We'll get back from Chicago one week before our projected move (as long as everything sifts out right for his schooling).  It'll be a crazy time.

So there you have it. That's what we're up to. Here are some pictures to prove that we're still alive.