I Do.

Wow, time flies.  I can't believe it's been almost 2 weeks since I wrote that post.  We're now into our third week of school and I have some advice in response to my last request for advice.

I realized, at the start of her second week of school, that Keara had switched from being truly nervous, to enjoying the attention she was receiving by not liking school, by clinging, and by crying.  She got sympathy from everyone...me, Braden, her teachers, her grandmas, everyone.  And we were talking about it with everyone, seeking advice. 

But when I stopped and paid attention to the whole picture, I realized that the sympathy and attention was actually perpetuating the problem.  So we flipped a switch and overnight, the problem changed.  That's not to say it went away, but immediately, we had less whining, less clinging, less crying.  She's gone 4 days of no tears at all and comes home much happier and excited about school.  The mornings aren't spent telling us that she doesn't want to go, but talking about what is going on that day.

What did we do?  We stopped paying attention to her complaints.  When she would say, "I don't want to go to school," we'd reply with "We understand.  Please get in the shower (or get dressed, or go to bed, or eat your breakfast, or whatever)."  We didn't dwell on the complaint.  And we explained to her teacher what we were doing and she jumped on board, not dwelling on Keara's crying, but moving on to the next thing. 

I didn't want Keara to think we didn't care, so we switched to focusing on the positive, like when she is happy, when she goes to school easily, when she has a great day.  Or simply on the great parts of school instead of the bad parts.  Once we took the wind out of her sails, per say, she started gliding and doing so much better. 

I'm grateful for inspiration and a Father in Heaven who not only loves me, but loves my daughter and inspires me and Braden on how to raise her best.  This advice has been extremely helpful.

Any Advice?

You already know how the first day of school went.  The second day started with "I don't want to go to school today."  But she survived, even though she cried again at the beginning.  But today started with "I dont' want to go to school today.  Please don't make me," and hiding in the corner, not helping get dressed, dragging her feet every step to the car. 

I asked her why, what was happening, and she told me she doesn't have anyone to sit with at lunch, how she's afraid of the whistle at recess and gym, how a couple boys have pushed her, how she's the only one who cries, how everyone else knows each other already and she feels new. 

I tried really hard to focus on the good parts of school, how Heavenly Father can help her, how she can reach out and be a friend, how she's not the only one who is afraid, how she can find a friend to sit with at lunch.  But nothing hleped.  When I took her to her classroom this morning, the tears came, she clung to me, and she begged me to take her back home. 

Even though I know exactly how she's feeling, I don't know how to help her thru this.  I know it takes time, that next week will be better, and then next week will be better than that, and so forth.  But what can I do to help her thru this every morning?  When she comes home from school, she loved it.  But in the morning, she's nervous, afraid, and doesn't want to go.

Have you had experience with this?  What have you done that has helped?  I really would appreciate any help you might have.