You already know how the first day of school went. The second day started with "I don't want to go to school today." But she survived, even though she cried again at the beginning. But today started with "I dont' want to go to school today. Please don't make me," and hiding in the corner, not helping get dressed, dragging her feet every step to the car.
I asked her why, what was happening, and she told me she doesn't have anyone to sit with at lunch, how she's afraid of the whistle at recess and gym, how a couple boys have pushed her, how she's the only one who cries, how everyone else knows each other already and she feels new.
I tried really hard to focus on the good parts of school, how Heavenly Father can help her, how she can reach out and be a friend, how she's not the only one who is afraid, how she can find a friend to sit with at lunch. But nothing hleped. When I took her to her classroom this morning, the tears came, she clung to me, and she begged me to take her back home.
Even though I know exactly how she's feeling, I don't know how to help her thru this. I know it takes time, that next week will be better, and then next week will be better than that, and so forth. But what can I do to help her thru this every morning? When she comes home from school, she loved it. But in the morning, she's nervous, afraid, and doesn't want to go.
Have you had experience with this? What have you done that has helped? I really would appreciate any help you might have.
3 comments:
I don't have any advise except to keep on encouraging her to go. If you give into her, it will send the wrong message. School is important, and {I know home school is great} but I think kids need to learn to overcome their fears. Try saying a prayer when you get into the car with her, asking her to say it. In her night time prayers have her ask for help. That always make it more real for my kids. Tell her she needs to be tough and that {if you want to} Parker went through the same thing and it got better over time. Oh Cheri, good luck!
With some of my kids I would kiss their hand and they would put that kiss in their pocket. Seems silly now that I'm typing that, but it was sweet at the time. Adam had a really hard time and my heart broke for two weeks straight sending him off. The main thing that helped him is that his teacher noticed and got on board. She had his own special chart for him that he put stickers on if he made it through the day happy. After a few months when he started becoming the class clown I apologized to his teacher and told her I would work harder with him at home. She said don't you dare, I love seeing him goof off, remember when he was so scared? That's when I knew his teacher genuinely loved him and wanted him happy. She was even willing to look past his goofy behavior if it meant he was confident in her class. Ok this is too long, sorry!!! Good luck!
Really - we did this just a few weeks ago with Jackson. It was the worst leaving him everyday. One day I even got a call from the school secretary saying that after I dropped him off and the bell rang he headed for the school gates and was determined that he was going home with mom. They finally got him to go into class, and he was fine in class after that (I emailed the teacher get her opinion). Do you feel good about the teacher? I really think it was the "every day" thing, the big school, bigger class, the more structured "sit and learn" style of Kindergarten compared to preschool. He was out of his comfort zone, and it was hard for my sweet little 5 yr old to adjust. I tried telling him to pray for help from Heavenly Father when he felt uncomfortable and in all our family and night time prayers we prayed for him. Finally, we made a "Jackson's Happy Days" chart and put a smiley face on it everyday he didn't cry. It was only a 5 day chart. I let him pick a $5 star wars toy off amazon at the beginning of the chart to earn. It seemed to work (or maybe he was just settling in) and the anticipation of getting a package in the mail was an added bonus. Its a hard process to watch this growing pain - I definitely see that he's 'grown up' through this process. He LOVES school now, it just took a little time to adjust. Good luck!
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